BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
"Water Boy"
by
Ted Rabinowitz
© Ted Rabinowitz
TEASER
FADE IN
INT. SWIMMING POOL - NIGHT
Teen SWIMMERS horse around. A sign reads "Girl's Sync-Swim, 8-9 PM.” A DARK FIGURE lurks at the window.
MUSIC STARTS. The water ballet begins. Then the Figure raises its arms. A GLOWING VORTEX forms, whirling the Swimmers faster and faster. They SCREAM…
EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
XANDER strides along with a stake and a walkie-talkie.
WILLOW (FILTERED, OS)
Xander, wait! He's really, really big! Buffy's right there, don't do anything-
XANDER
(turns off the comm)
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
(gripping the stake)
One strike, in and out. One strike, in and out. One strike-
FOOTSTEPS. Xander whirls and thrusts deep into the chest of the BIGGEST, SCARIEST VAMPIRE ever. It EXPLODES into dust.
XANDER
Yes!
GILES emerges from the shadows.
XANDER
You missed it.
GILES
You killed the Vorwalaka?
XANDER
By myself.
Giles turns away and calls into the shadows.
GILES
It's all right.
BUFFY enters, dressed to Slay.
GILES
Xander, ah, got him.
BUFFY
Coolness. Is that all of them?
GILES
Fifteen, plus the Mentaka sisters. Yes, I believe that's all.
BUFFY
Well, nighty-night then. I'm Ms. Sleepy. (yawns) Thanks, Xander.
Buffy exits. Xander stands, deflated.
XANDER
Sure. Any time.
Giles turns to follow. Then-
GILES
Xander.
XANDER
(Eager)
Yeah?
GILES
I know the Black Grimoire looks really…er…"groovy" on your desk, but I need it back in my office by ten tomorrow. Please don't forget.
XANDER
No.
GILES
Good night, then.
He goes. WILLOW and OZ run into the alley.
WILLOW
Are you okay? What happened?
XANDER
(tossing the stake away)
Nothing.
He leaves.
WILLOW
Where are you going?
They follow him around the corner-
EXT. SWIMMING HALL - NIGHT
-and stop in shock. POLICE are stringing up crime-scene tape. EMTs carry body bags out of the swimming hall.
OZ
This can't be good.
In the BG the Dark Figure holds up an ancient COIN. It has a man's face. Xander's face - wearing a crown.
The Dark Figure vanishes into the shadows. A moment later, a car drives away, its radio BLARING music…SURF MUSIC.
FADE OUT
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN
INT. GUIDANCE OFFICE - DAY
A desk plaque reads "Your Pre-Career Counseling Specialist Is…MR. JONES." JONES, a '50s throwback, grabs a file and turns to Xander.
JONES
So. Let's take a look and see what we have, eh, Alex?
He signs Xander's appointment card and studies the file. And studies it. After a while, Xander gets nervous.
JONES
Hmmm…Alex, I see you haven't been here before.
XANDER
Xander.
JONES
Um-hmmm…
(closing the folder)
Alex, have you ever thought about a career in the military?
XANDER
It's the hair - I made a vow to keep it stylish.
JONES
There are some nice opportunities in the civil service. Good benefits, and a college education is not required.
XANDER
Ah, the real living dead. Very appealing, but…no.
JONES
Alex, let me be honest. If you had come to me two years ago, we could have done something. But now you're a senior, you don't have much time to improve your grades, you have no extracurriculars…we have to assess the damage and see what we can save. You're not in a position to be picky.
XANDER
(standing)
Gee. Thanks for believing in me, Bobby.
JONES
My name's not Bobby.
XANDER
There you go.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Xander walks past CORDELIA and her CRONIES.
CORDELIA
Did you get a career, Xander? Maybe one with a paper hat?
XANDER
Ha-ha. You're a wit, Cordy. With a "c-h" on the end.
Exits.
CORDELIA
What did he say?
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Xander enters. Buffy, Giles, Willow and Oz are already there.
XANDER
Break out the pointed sticks, monsters in the swimmin' hole!
BUFFY
Look who's full of crunchy goodness.
WILLOW
How was your guidance session?
XANDER
Peachy. What are we Slayin'?
GILES
It's early to come up with a definitive answer-
XANDER
Ten bucks says Wayne Petronsi. He's feeling homesick, a little hungry, looking for some surf 'n' turf…
GILES
That had occurred to me.
OZ
Some help?
WILLOW
Last year, the boy's swim team… mutated a little.
XANDER
Filet-o-fish. It's not just a trademarked franchise sandwich any more.
OZ
Wow. Another chapter in the secret history of Sunnydale.
GILES
Whatever the creature's origin, we can be relatively confident about its mode of entry. The sewers underneath the building.
BUFFY
No, no, I think it probably just walked in the front door. Walked right in.
GILES
Buffy…
BUFFY
At least let me talk to the swimmers first. Maybe it didn't go through the sewers.
GILES
All right. But if they can't help-
BUFFY
I know, I know. Ty-D-Bol time.
OZ
Dibs searching the pool area for clues.
WILLOW
And there's a sewer map in the Administration computer system. It's encrypted, but I could probably hack into it. Please let me hack into it. I'll go hack into it.
She dashes out.
OZ
She's kinda sexy when she's breaking the law.
He follows.
BUFFY
When good programmers go bad.
GILES
Well. Research waits for no man.
Giles drops a stack of books on the table and leaves. Buffy grabs some weapons from the cage and checks the books.
BUFFY
Do you want "Pickman's Demonology" or "Paranatural Creatures of the Pacific Rim"?
XANDER
Actually, I want a crossbow.
BUFFY
A crossbow.
XANDER
And maybe one of those big swords with the hilt-
BUFFY
Claymore. What for?
XANDER
To strike fear into the Armies of the Night.
(off Buffy’s reaction)
You know. Monster killin'.
BUFFY
That's not funny.
XANDER
You may not have noticed, but I'm ready. I can take out these suckers on my own…if they're not looking. And I get a head start. But I can still do it. It's time.
BUFFY
Xander, I'm spending all my free time tonight in a sewer. I can’t about you, too.
XANDER
So, I'm a liability.
BUFFY
That's not what I meant.
XANDER
You know you did. After three years, I thought I'd graduated from Mr. Sidekick. Guess I was wrong.
Xander leaves.
BUFFY
Xander. Xander!
INT. GIRLS' LOCKERS - DAY
Buffy interviews two Sync-Swimmers, TISHA and TASHA.
TISHA
...I mean it's really, really sad? But Lori was NOT a good team captain?
TASHA
Definitely. SO definitely.
TISHA
So it all balances out!
BUFFY
Did you notice anything unusual before it happened?
TISHA
Peeper?
TASHA
Peeper.
BUFFY
Peeper?
TISHA
There was this SHAPE?
TASHA
At the doors and windows?
TISHA
Only we thought it was some horny old guy?
TASHA
Not, you know, a shark?
BUFFY
A shark.
TISHA
Sure. That's what the police said.
BUFFY
At the doors and windows.
(no reaction from the Swimmers)
Well, thanks.
Buffy pulls a COVERALL and BOOTS from her locker and SIGHS as she puts them on.
INT. SEWERS - NIGHT
Buffy patrols. FOOTSTEPS echo. There's a dark, inhuman SHAPE ahead. Buffy reaches out and grabs-
SHAPE
(Terrified)
AAHH! AAHH!!
-a big but puffy teen, PEEPER. He jumps back in a clumsy Bruce Lee stance.
BUFFY
Who are you?
PEEPER
Piss off, bitch!
BUFFY
Yoink.
Buffy dunks him into the water. He thrashes unsuccessfully.
BUFFY
Pretty stinky. Ready to talk?
PEEPER
You bi-
She dunks him again.
BUFFY
Well?
Peeper tries to hit her. She dunks him again. Then she sees a small DOOR in the wall. She hauls Peeper up.
BUFFY
What's this?
PEEPER
Don't!
BUFFY
Too late.
She opens the door. The Girls' Locker Room is on the other side. GIRLS start to SCREAM.
BUFFY
You know what the big problem is with guys? I'll tell you. The big problem is, you don't know when to admit you're wrong.
INT. GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM - NIGHT
Peeper is in his underwear. Buffy holds him in an arm-lock. The Girls watch, fully clothed.
BUFFY
"-I am a slimy little perv-"
PEEPER
"-I am a slimy little perv-"
BUFFY
"-who will never get date in a million years-"
PEEPER
Oww! "-who will never get date in a million years-"
BUFFY
"-because I smell like toejam."
PEEPER
"-because I smell like toejam."
Buffy releases him. He slinks to a bench.
BUFFY
Okay, show's over.
The crowd breaks up.
TISHA & TASHA
SO cool.
They exit. Buffy and Peeper are alone.
BUFFY
Talk.
PEEPER
I was just looking around.
BUFFY
Funny, you don't look like a shark.
(off Peeper's blank look)
Did you see the monster?
PEEPER
All I saw was this freaky water. It started, like, glowing. I only came back cause I dropped my camcorder-
He gulps.
BUFFY
You are so busted.
EXT. PEARL BEACH - DAY
Xander wanders down the beach and sits on a rock. Nasty SURFERS approach: Lots of scalp, lots of tribal tats.
SURFER #1
What're you doing on our beach, haole?
XANDER
Your beach? Where's the sign?
Surfer #1 points to a surfboard stuck deep into the sand.
SURFER #1
See? It says "No Trespassing."
Xander squints at the surfboard and shakes his head.
XANDER
Sorry. No habla Goonie-Boy.
SURFER #1
Habla this, gremmie.
Surfer #1 grabs Xander. Xander hits him hard, and he goes down. Xander holds up his fist. There's a ROCK in it.
FANT (OC)
COOL IT!
FANT walks in. He's in his 40s, blond ponytail, obviously Big Man On The Beach. He picks up Surfer #1 and leans in.
FANT
Remember why we're here!
The Surfers stare at Xander in amazement. Then-
SURFER #1
Sorry.
SURFER #2
Sorry.
SURFER #3
Yeah. Sorry.
They exit. Fant turns to Xander.
FANT
Too many wipeouts, they scramble the brain. Come on. I've got clams.
He walks toward a big SHACK in the background. After a moment, Xander shrugs and follows.
INT. SURF SHACK - DAY
Everything a Surfer could want here: Boards, suits, food. Extensive MAPS hang from the walls. Fant slides a plate of fried clams to Xander. Soon he's scarfing them down.
XANDER
These are excellent.
FANT
Trick is to follow the sea otters. They know the best clam beds.
XANDER
(playing along)
Sure. Like cops and donuts.
FANT
So, why are you ditching class?
XANDER
Hey, I'm twenty.
FANT
And I'm the King of Atlantis.
XANDER
(shrugging)
Didn't see much point in staying.
FANT
I hear you.
XANDER
"But"? There's always a "but."
FANT
Maybe school isn't part of your path. Your destiny.
Xander looks around the shabby hut, amused.
XANDER
"Destiny"?
FANT
The foam on a wave hides the current underneath. Surfaces tell me you're just a punk kid. But I know better.
XANDER
Yeah. Well, thanks for the clams. Gotta run.
Fant tosses the ANCIENT COIN to Xander.
FANT
Check it.
XANDER
It's me…
FANT
When you were young, you dreamed about the sea every night. You wanted to be a ship captain, or a fisherman, or a deep-sea diver.
XANDER
Jacques Cousteau.
FANT
Look at the sea. What does it tell you?
XANDER
"I'm wet"?
FANT
Look at it!
XANDER
(in a deepening trance)
The tide's coming in. There's a sand bar, about fifty yards out. A strong current beyond it, moving south. The waves hit the bar in sets of three, four to six feet…but they're going to get bigger in a couple of hours, with four waves to a set. There's a pod of dolphins heading north past the reef, half a mile out, because there's a storm building a hundred miles out, gathering strength-
Xander's knees buckle. Fant catches him.
XANDER
I could feel it. I could feel it all.
Fant leads him to a couch.
FANT
Relax.
He goes outside.
EXT. SURF SHACK - DAY
A banner with a BREAKING WAVE SYMBOL on it hangs from the roof. An enormous CROWD OF SURFERS has gathered
SURFER #1
Dude. Is he The One?
FANT
Yes.
The Surfers CHEER.
SURFER #2
Gnarly! When's the sacrifice?
FADE OUT
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Buffy and Willow. Buffy's in her sewer gear.
WILLOW
He doesn't come to class. He didn't get his follow-up counseling session. He's ducking everybody.
Buffy hauls up a manhole cover.
BUFFY
What does Oz think?
WILLOW
Oz? He...he- what do you mean?
BUFFY
Xander is sulking. S-U-L-L...king. When he gets sick of it, he'll come back. And, in case you hadn't noticed, there's a sewer I have to check. B'bye!
She drops out of sight.
WILLOW
But...
The manhole cover slides shut with finality.
WILLOW
Fine. Be that way.
EXT. PAY-PHONE - NIGHT
Jones is on the phone with Fant.
JONES
...I found him for you. I cut him off from his future. Do you know how many case files I searched?
FANT
Yes.
JONES
I want what's coming to me.
FANT
You'll get it.
JONES
I'd better.
INT. SURF SHACK - NIGHT
Fant hangs up the phone and walks outside.
EXT. PEARL BEACH - CONTINUOUS
Torches flare. Drums BEAT. The Surfers slap Xander on the back as he heads to the water. Fant is already there.
FANT
This is the cool part.
Fant raises his arms.
FANT
Ia, ia, Shub-Niggurath!
The glowing Waterspout - DAGON - appears.
FANT
Great Dagon, feast on our bounty!
Dagon speeds away. The Surfers start to PARTY.
FANT
When your memory comes back all the way, you'll be able to call him yourself.
Xander raises his hands. Little waves race around the pool in response. Xander smiles.
XANDER
Excellent.
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Jones passes a fountain with a sign: SEA WATER, DO NOT DRINK. The water SHIMMERS. Jones hurries on.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Jones walks over a series of storm drains. Each one GLOWS as he passes. He starts to run.
EXT. BOULEVARD - NIGHT
Jones races past buildings as GLOWING WATERSPOUTS shoot up out of manholes in the street, pursuing him.
EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL - NIGHT
Jones races inside. Safe at last.
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Jones shuffles down the hall. He enters the boys bathroom.
INT. THE SEWERS - NIGHT
Buffy stalks along. The water starts to SPARKLE.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Jones slouches toward a urinal, looks at it, and grabs the handle. FLUSH.
INT. THE SEWERS - NIGHT
The waters recede. Buffy leaps onto a ladder as an enormous wave races past and forms into the Waterspout.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
A RUMBLING through the pipes. Jones looks around in fear.
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Jones' SCREAM echoes through the corridors and is cut short by the sound of THE ULTIMATE FLUSH. Water bursts out of the bathroom door - water tinged with red.
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Outside the bathroom. Two EMTs carry out Jones, dead. Giles approaches, sees Jones, and ducks into the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Flooded. All the pipes and fixtures have burst. A BLOODY PORCELAIN SHARD pins a shred of Jones' shirt to the wall.
GILES
Buffy.
Giles runs out of the room.
INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT
Willow and Oz are kissing. Buffy enters, covered in muck.
WILLOW
Buffy, are you all right?
BUFFY
Just completely yucked out.
WILLOW
There's a change of clothes in Giles' office. I thought "Sewers, sewage…"
BUFFY
Thanks. I'm going to get cleaned up.
OZ
Um, that's good.
Buffy sniffs the air, then herself.
BUFFY
Ick.
WILLOW
We didn't want to say anything.
She goes to Giles' office. Willow and Oz start smooching again. Giles enters as Buffy comes out of his office.
GILES
Buffy. Thank Heavens. You were down there, I take it?
BUFFY
It's not the fish monsters. It's not a monster at all. Completely hydro. No face, no fangs, no scales. Just sparkly water.
GILES
A spirit of some kind.
Giles looks very worried. Oz gets a glass of water.
BUFFY
This is not good, I'm sensing.
GILES
A monster has a certain tangibility. It can be killed directly. A spirit can strike any time or place. In this case, I suspect, anywhere there's water.
Oz stares at his glass, and puts it down.
WILLOW
Sinks. Bubble baths…
GILES
Urinals.
OZ
That's a lot of pressure.
Giles retrieves an ancient TOME from the shelves.
WILLOW
Oooh, let me see.
GILES
The Book of Dagon is not a toy.
BUFFY
Dagon?
GILES
(opening the book)
The Atlantean god of the sea. Everything there is to know about water magic is here - summoning, spells, exorcism…ah. That's it. A scrying ceremony that might tell us more…if this is a water spirit. I'll need time to obtain certain ingredients…and I'll need everyone present to fill up the positions in the pentagram, so Willow, if you could find Xander tomorrow…
WILLOW
Oh. Um. Sure.
She trades looks with Buffy.
EXT. SUNNYSIDE HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
Buffy, Willow, and Oz under a tree. Oz eats a sandwich.
BUFFY
He's not at the arcade, the quad, or the movie theater. So where would he go?
OZ
Ed's Guitar Shop.
Off Buffy and Willow's reactions-
OZ
That's where I'd go.
WILLOW
He used to go to Pearl Beach, when he wanted to be alone.
BUFFY
All right, then.
WILLOW
Oz?
OZ
(Mouth full)
That's okay. I trust you.
WILLOW
There's nothing to…to trust me about!
OZ
I know.
Oz waves.
EXT. PEARL BEACH - DAY
Buffy and Willow on the beach. Surfers ride the waves. One HOT-DOG shoots the pier with reckless style. The Surfers CHEER. It's-
WILLOW
Xander?
Xander transformed: A total surfer, with sun-block stripes and a bitchin' stick. His wet-suit has a BREAKING WAVE painted on it.
XANDER
Buffy, Wil. Howzit!
BUFFY
Where have you been?
XANDER
Surfing.
WILLOW
We were going to study Chemistry last night.
XANDER
Ouch. Sorry.
WILLOW
Xander, are you all right?
XANDER
Never better. In fact, better than ever.
Some SURFERS approach and crowd in around Buffy and Willow.
SURFER #1
'Kandar! Are these taken?
He points to Buffy and Willow.
XANDER
These are friends of mine.
SURFER #1
Dude. Sorry.
They do the Surfer Salute - fingers curled, thumb and pinkie out - and move along.
BUFFY
"Are these taken"? This is your new thing? Surf Nazis?
WILLOW
Giles is doing a scrying ceremony tonight. We need you-
XANDER
Sorry. Can't. The waves are breaking just right. We're talking once in a lifetime here.
WILLOW
"Can't"?
Buffy moves closer.
BUFFY
Okay, you can be mad at me. But-
XANDER
This isn't about mad. It's about me. I've found my place. You should be happy. Wil?
Willow just stares at him, looking betrayed. Xander looks away, uncomfortable.
XANDER
Anyway, I know the forces of Evil are in good hands. You guys take care.
A crowd of Surfers gathers around him and he walks away.
INT. SWIMMING POOL - NIGHT
Giles prepares for the ritual in the now-dry swimming pool while Oz looks on. Buffy and Willow enter.
GILES
Where's Xander?
BUFFY
He had a big date with Gidget and Moondoggie.
GILES
That's…unfortunate.
Giles starts to draw patterns on the floor.
GILES
We'll have to improvise.
Oz turns to Willow.
OZ
That's not good, is it?
WILLOW
No.
INT. SWIMMING POOL - NIGHT
Later. Giles studies the Book of Dagon. A silver bowl is full of water. Willow, Buffy and Oz stand inside mystic chalk patterns.
GILES
Very well. Since we are a man short, I have substituted the Ritual of Ibn Ghazi to discover the nature of the spirit. Everything should go, er, swimmingly. If it doesn't, leave immediately. Don't hesitate.
BUFFY
Giles, I'm the Slayer, I should-
GILES
Please. Let's just get this done.
Giles starts to read from a book.
GILES
"In sunken R'Lyeh, dread Cthulhu lies dreaming. Ia, Ia, Shub-Niggurath…"
The water in the bowl starts to slosh back and forth.
GILES
"The Goat of the Woods with a thousand young!"
The water boils.
GILES
Yes, yes…I see something. "Open the gate, swing wide the door, unbar the portal! Yog-Sothoth. Yog-Sothoth! YOG-SOTHOTH!"
Water EXPLODES out of the bowl. Oceans of it.
GILES
RUN! RU-
Giles is swept away in the incredible STORM. Oz grabs Willow. Buffy dives into the pool and grabs Giles.
EXT. LAWN IN FRONT OF SWIMMING HALL - NIGHT
They struggle out. The storm continues to rage INSIDE the swimming hall. Fish flop in puddles around them. Giles sinks down into a puddle of water. He sniffs at it.
GILES
Salt water?
Giles passes out.
BUFFY
Giles! Giles!!
CRASH! The storm blows out the windows.
INT. BEACH CAVE - NIGHT
Fant rolls on the ground, water shooting from his mouth, eyes, ears, nose. Finally, he sits up.
FANT
What a rush.
He coughs up a fish, tosses it away. Surfers help him up.
EXT. BEACH - NIGHT
Fant approaches a mob of Surfers with torches.
FANT
Brahs! Someone knows we're here. So someone has the Book of Dagon. Is that good?
SURFERS
No!
FANT
With the Book of Dagon, they could banish our Great Father. Do you want that?
SURFERS
No! No!
FANT
Who will get the book for us?
SURFERS
SIKANDAR! SIKANDAR! SIKANDAR!
Xander stands.
XANDER
Sikandar is…STOKED!
The Surfers CHEER.
INT. THE LIBRARY - NIGHT
Xander enters, wearing a BREAKING WAVE t-shirt. Willow is asleep at a table, next to the Book of Dagon and a half-eaten hamburger.
Xander quietly takes the book. The Breaking Wave is on the cover. Then briefly, the old Xander is back. He touches Willow's hair.
XANDER
Wil…
BUFFY (OS)
She's lucky to be alive.
Xander turns. Buffy's just entered.
BUFFY
Giles is still in the hospital. There weren't enough people to do the ritual safely. Thanks to you.
XANDER
Must be these crazy black-outs. For the life of me, I can't remember standing behind Giles with a gun and forcing him to be Spell Boy.
BUFFY
You don't remember much. Like your friends.
XANDER
Aha-ha. No. For the first time in my life, I DO remember. Remember what a real life is like. All this-
He waves his hand at the books, the weapons, Buffy.
XANDER
It doesn't begin to compete.
BUFFY
You don't like your life? Join the club.
XANDER
I forgot, your problems are the only ones that matter.
BUFFY
At least you can choose!
XANDER
Choose what? Between selling real estate or car insurance? You've got the strength, Willow's got the brains, Giles has that Watcher thing happening, I still don't know what that's about. You know where you're going. Not Good Ol' Xander. Mr. Sidekick. Why should I stick around? So I can hold your stakes and crosses? Forget that.
He grabs the knapsack.
XANDER
Go save the world. I'm gonna have some fun.
He walks past her. She stops him, looking dangerous.
XANDER
What are you going to do? Slay me?
And he leaves.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Someone has covered Willow with a blanket and put a pillow under her head. Giles enters, bandaged, leaning on Buffy.
BUFFY
Rise and shine, Van Winklette!
WILLOW
Hmmph. Ahh.
BUFFY
Omigosh, library hair.
GILES
Willow, were you here all night?
WILLOW
I, I wanted to help research.
Giles gingerly pokes at the half-eaten burger.
WILLOW
And eat. Research and eat. Are you all right?
GILES
Yes, fine.
He sits slowly, wincing in pain.
BUFFY
Two cracked ribs and a concussion.
GILES
As I said, fine. Now we're here, please get me the Book of Dagon. I'd get it myself, but the room seems to be spinning. You did retrieve it?
BUFFY
Sure.
WILLOW
Oh. Okay. I-
She looks around. The Book of Dagon is gone.
WILLOW
Um, why do you want it now? I mean, well, the ceremony, it was kind of a bust, not to be critical, only, you were in the hospital, and Oz had to do CPR, and-
BUFFY
Wil. Deep breaths.
Buffy starts to search the shelves.
GILES
The Book of Dagon is more than a spell book. It is the sacred tome of the Atlanteans. They are the only ones I know who could summon a water spirit of such power.
BUFFY
You mean the whole hurricane-in-a-building thingie.
WILLOW
But Atlanteans, as in Atlantis? Isn't Atlantis, well, really wet? Like, buried-under-the-ocean-four-miles-deep wet?
GILES
There were survivors. The Book of Dagon says they fled to the "Eastern Lands" and maintained their traditions and blood-lines. It's quite possible some of them have survived to this day.
Buffy stops scanning the shelves and bends over the railing.
BUFFY
Refresh my creepy book memory.
GILES
Honestly, you saw it last night.
BUFFY
Some people can't remember faces…
GILES
Duodecimo, manuscript, shark-skin binding, deckle edges, copper spine, and an attached red silk bookmark. Oh, and written in blood, of course.
BUFFY
Not here…Giles. Did it have a design, a pattern on the cover, like a mountain in a circle? Or a thing of wheat in a circle?
GILES
It's a wave, the Breaking Wave. The symbol of Atlantis. Why?
BUFFY
I think Xander wore it on his t-shirt last night.
Giles struggles to his feet and opens a folder.
GILES
Does any of this seem familiar?
Willow picks up an illustration of the Surfer Salute.
WILLOW
He did this.
GILES
The Salute of Waters. The greeting between two Atlantean Princes.
Another illustration - an Atlantean man in face-paint resembling the colored sun-block surfers wear.
BUFFY
And he was wearing this stripy sun-block on his nose and cheekbones.
WILLOW
He has really nice cheekbones.
GILES
The Mask of Hydra. It indicates rank and standing.
Willow turns the page to a picture of a BEARDED MAN with a crown.
WILLOW
Xander!
GILES
No. That's Sikandar IX.
WILLOW
But it's also Xander.
She scans the picture. It appears on the computer screen. Willow types and the beard disappears. It's Xander.
GILES
Gather your things. Call Oz. We must find Xander at once.
BUFFY
Giles, what?
GILES
Sikandar IX was the last king of Atlantis.
Giles stands and grabs his coat.
WILLOW
Xander is a king?
GILES
Yes. And in Atlantis, the king must die.
FADE OUT
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN
INT. GILES' CAR - DAY
Giles is driving. Badly. Buffy, Willow, and Oz hang on.
GILES
…of course, the royal sacrifice only occurred when the Atlanteans wanted Dagon to manifest fully. To destroy their enemies, scour the mainland with tidal waves, and so on.
BUFFY
So what do they want now?
GILES
I don't know.
The car swerves. Tires SQUEAL.
OZ
Is this a virgin sacrifice thing? Because-
Dead silence as Buffy and Willow lock eyes on Oz.
OZ
Um. I mean. Uh-
GILES
No. The King is honored until the ceremony itself, and men and women vie for his attention. Ahh…
Giles runs a light. Everyone grabs hold.
SLAYERETTES
AHH!
BUFFY
Giles, what did they give you at the hospital?
GILES
Something with a "D".
WILLOW
Demerol?
GILES
Probably.
BUFFY
Just curious.
WILLOW
He shouldn't be driving!
GILES
Almost there. You say Xander was surfing?
BUFFY
Like Frankie and Annette. And he talked about remembering things for the first time.
GILES
Race memory. Recall on the genetic level. Recollections are surfacing in Xander that belong to his ancestors. Fascinating.
Giles swerves.
WILLOW
Oh, God.
GILES
Drive on the right! Pillock.
OZ
That actually makes sense. I mean, no one would just wake up one day and decide to ride a wave on a piece of plywood. But it's all part of this Atlantis gig. Surfing's in his genes.
WILLOW
LOOK OUT!
Horns HONK.
BUFFY
What about those flannel shirts he wears?
GILES
We can't blame everything on Atlantis.
Giles pulls into the beach parking lot.
EXT. SURF SHACK - DAY
The beach is empty. The Surf Shack is locked tight.
BUFFY
Where are they?
The Breaking Wave has been chalked on the shack's door. Buffy breaks the padlock.
INT. SURF SHACK - DAY
They enter. Giles picks up a stone inscribed with the Breaking Wave.
GILES
Scrying stone. They probably knew of us as soon as I cast the spell.
He tosses it away in disgust.
BUFFY
And they bugged out after they got Xander to steal their Big Book of Dagon.
OZ
Cool. Maps.
Giles checks them out. One shows California fault lines. Another shows "Atlantis, ye Islande Kingdome."
GILES
Bloody Hell.
WILLOW
What's wrong?
GILES
California is geologically unstable, yes?
OZ
Earthquakes. We specialize.
Giles traces the fault lines with a pencil, puts one map over the other, and holds them up to the light. The fault lines match the outline of Atlantis exactly.
WILLOW
Oh my gosh.
GILES
This is why they'll sacrifice Xander. A new Atlantis. And when they get it…
OZ
Beach-front property in Arizona.
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL - MONTAGE/DAY
Buffy, Willow and Oz try to mobilize the school. Willow displays a flier with Xander's picture to her COMPUTER STUDENTS; Oz talks to his BAND BUDDIES; Buffy talks to the sync-swim team.
GILES (VO)
They are probably still on the beach, but that leaves a great deal of ground to cover. We'll need search parties…
Their efforts fail. Willow's Students stream past her. Oz's Buddies look dubious. Buffy gets more shrugs than nods.
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
Buffy's in front of her locker. Someone reaches into frame holding the flier. It's Cordelia.
CORDELIA
Did you think I want him dead? Is that why you didn't call me? Or is it just about being in your little club?
BUFFY
I didn't-
CORDELIA
Nobody gets to Xander Harris before me.
Cordelia steps back. Behind her we can see a horde of JOCKS and CHEERLEADERS filling the hall.
BUFFY
We've got maps in the library.
Buffy and the Students leave. Cordelia stares at Xander's picture. She crumples it up and throws it away. Tears well up in her eyes.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Cordelia's in charge. Students, including LARRY THE JOCK, get their assignments and go. Giles swallows a pill while examining a map, and finds Buffy staring at him.
GILES
Aspirin. Honestly, as if you were my mother.
Willow and Oz approach Giles.
OZ
So if she gets ten more people to look, how long will it take?
GILES
It's an enormous stretch of beach. I'd say another twenty hours. Assuming they all stay on the job, of course.
Willow jabs Oz and hustles him behind the stacks.
INT. LIBRARY, BEHIND THE STACKS - DAY
Willow and Oz.
WILLOW
See! See! You said yourself, Spring high tide at five PM tomorrow. What if they don't find him? It's time for Plan B.
Willow holds up a GOURD covered with beads and mystic symbols.
OZ
Okay. You win.
INT. SEWER - DAY
Buffy sits in a raft. Willow and Oz load equipment.
BUFFY
Will I never get out of here?
Willow holds up the gourd. It's tied to a long coil of nylon rope.
WILLOW
This is a soul hook. It's from Santeria, which is kinda like Voodoo, which is actually pronounced Voudoun, which-
OZ
Wil. Focus.
WILLOW
Sorry. If Dagon shows up, you throw this into the waterspout. Like a harpoon. It'll stick.
BUFFY
But we don't know if he'll show up.
WILLOW
Yes, we do, because, actually, the sewer map?
BUFFY
That you hacked.
WILLOW
That I hacked. This pool is the farthest into the sewer system the ocean salt-water reaches. If I were a sea god, I'd go through here.
OZ
The tide's been really high this week.
Buffy and Willow look at him. He shrugs.
OZ
It's a moon/werewolf thing. Anyway, tomorrow afternoon is the peak, then it dies down. Figure Dagon parties this week, gets out tonight-
BUFFY
And takes Xander tomorrow, at high tide.
OZ
Yeah. Here.
He hangs a cell phone on a rope around her neck.
OZ
Keep in touch.
He gives her a soul shake. Willow hugs her.
BUFFY
Go.
They do. Buffy sighs.
BUFFY
Alone in a sewer. Get a life, Summers.
INT. SEWER POOL - NIGHT
Buffy's stretched out in the raft, rockin' out to her Walkman.
BUFFY
"…ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive…"
Dagon appears. Buffy harpoons it with the soul hook. Dagon GROANS and races forward. Buffy holds on for dear life.
INT. THE SEWERS - NIGHT
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. The raft kicks up a rooster-tail as Dagon and Buffy race past whirlpools and other obstacles.
EXT. THE OCEAN - NIGHT
Dagon and Buffy shoot out of a storm drain and into the open sea. Dagon rounds the cape and heads back in to land.
EXT. INNSMOUTH COVE - NIGHT
Dagon enters a cave in the bluffs. Buffy lets go, and swims in under the surface of the water.
INT. TIDAL CAVE - NIGHT
Fant, Xander and the Surfers stand around a tidal pool. Dagon appears. The Surfers kneel. Buffy watches from behind a rock.
FANT
Great Dagon-
Fant stops. His eyes close in concentration and then open.
FANT
Bogus.
INT. BEHIND THE ROCK - NIGHT
Buffy dials the cell phone.
BUFFY
Willow, I'm in a cave south of Sunnydale Point. The Surfers are here-
A BIG SURFER kicks the cell phone out of Buffy's hands.
INT. THE LIBRARY - NIGHT
Willow clutches the phone.
WILLOW
Buffy? Buffy?
INT. THE TIDAL CAVE - NIGHT
The cell phone sinks to the bottom of the pool.
WILLOW (OS, FILTERED)
Buffy?
INT. THE LIBRARY - NIGHT
Giles confronts Willow and Oz. Cordelia talks on the phone in the background.
GILES
Buffy as well. Did you think for one moment to consult me?
WILLOW
You'd have said no.
GILES
With good reason! Have you no-
CORDELIA
Hey! Phone call here.
Everyone shuts up for a moment. Cordelia returns to her phone.
CORDELIA
Rude, rude, rude.
GILES
(taking a deep breath)
Did Buffy describe her location?
OZ
A cave south of Sunnydale Point. Doesn't help much.
WILLOW
If we get everybody to search south of there, won't that help?
Giles glances at the maps and does some calculations.
GILES
It would shorten the search to twelve hours, perhaps.
WILLOW
It won't be enough time, will it?
Giles shakes his head. Cordelia approaches the group.
CORDELIA
Time for what?
Nobody says anything.
CORDELIA
No. You're wrong. There has to be something. A spell, a, a map, a crystal ball, something- You can't just give up!
Doom hangs heavy in the air. Then Giles stands.
GILES
Cordelia is right. We've a few more hours. I don't propose to waste them here. Let's be on our way.
OZ
Where?
GILES
The beach, of course. I, for one, don't believe that Xander would be quite so foolish as to kill himself. Or anyone else, for that matter.
He peers out a window.
GILES
Dawn is coming. The weather looks fine. Perfect for a beach holiday. Come along. Cordelia, Oz, Willow… out, out, out.
Cordelia and Willow exit. Oz lifts an eyebrow at Giles.
GILES
We should at least go down fighting.
INT. THE TIDAL CAVE - DAY
Buffy is chained to a stalagmite, out cold.
XANDER
Wake up.
She opens her eyes. Xander is full Atlantis: face paint, jammies, gold headdress. His eyes are cold and distant.
BUFFY
Xander…
Xander unlocks her.
XANDER
Leave. Don't come back.
BUFFY
I'm not going anywhere without you.
She grabs him. A wave from the tidal pool knocks her down.
XANDER
No one touches the King.
BUFFY
The King?
XANDER
You can have your freedom because of what we were. Leave while you can.
BUFFY
Xander, please. Come with me.
XANDER
I'm Sikandar now.
BUFFY
You're Xander!
XANDER
You're not one of the People. You don't see what we see - the cities, the temples, the Great Ships. You can't understand.
BUFFY
Did you know what Cordelia was doing when I left? She was mobilizing the entire school to look for you. That's like, miracle city.
No response from Xander.
BUFFY
Okay. What about Willow? How do you think she feels right now?
XANDER
Willow…I-
Xander looks up.
XANDER
They're back.
The Surfers enter - more, even, than Buffy can handle.
SURFER #1
Sikandar!
XANDER
Don't hurt her.
BUFFY
Xander! XANDER!
Nine or ten of the Surfers carry Xander out on their shoulders. The rest close in on Buffy.
FADE OUT
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
FADE IN
EXT. THE BEACH - DAY
Willow and Oz look for the Surfers. Larry is there, holding up a photo of Xander and interrogating PASSERSBY.
LARRY
Hey, you! You seen this guy?
Larry waves at Willow and Oz and goes back to the search.
WILLOW
Shouldn't we tell him? All of them?
OZ
They'd never get out in time. Hey. Maybe they'll find Xander and Buffy. Could happen.
Willow notices a LIFEGUARD watching the beach from his tower.
WILLOW
Oz, the surfers…They were, kind of, well, definitely un-mellow.
OZ
Anti-Surfers. The Dark Side of the Beach.
WILLOW
Yes. And I was thinking, maybe they were a lifeguard problem. Like an "I'm gonna keep my eye on you and see where you go" problem?
INT. LIFEGUARD TOWER - DAY
Willow, Oz and the LIFEGUARD.
LIFEGUARD
Yeah, I know 'em. Real punks. Try the bluffs at Innsmouth Cove. We keep breaking up fights there. They try to chase the other surfers away.
The Lifeguard leans in.
LIFEGUARD
You know, if you're interested in surfing, I could show you-
We hear a GROWL.
LIFEGUARD
Is there a dog here?
WILLOW
Thanks. See you!
She hustles Oz out.
EXT. LIFEGUARD TOWER - DAY
Willow and Oz exit.
WILLOW
Call Giles.
OZ
About the growl thing-
Willow lays a big kiss on him.
WILLOW
Go.
INT. TIDAL CAVE - DAY
Buffy's handcuffed to the rocks again, surrounded by SURF GUARDS with harpoons. The tide is rising past her neck.
BUFFY
Hello? A little help?
Nothing.
BUFFY
Hey! Beach Boys! The tide's coming in!
The Guards don't move.
BUFFY
Xander said not to hurt me. I don't know how you do it in Sea World, but I can't breathe water.
The Guards pull Buffy out of the pool - a mistake. She attacks. More SURFERS enter, and she flees into the caves.
INT. CAVES - DAY
Buffy sneaks up on a SURFER and grabs him in a choke-hold.
BUFFY
Can Dagon bring you back from the dead?
SURFER
N-no.
BUFFY
Then take me to your leader.
EXT. INNSMOUTH COVE - DAY
Bluffs in the background. The ceremony is in full swing. Torches, DRUMS, CHANTING. Fant officiates, the Book of Dagon in hand.
FANT
Cthulhu. R'lyeh. Wgah-Nagl. F'taghn.
With each word, the sky darkens and the waves get bigger.
FANT
DAGON!
The Waterspout appears on the horizon. A harpoon slams into the sand in front of Fant. Buffy leaps out, another harpoon ready.
BUFFY
Where's Xander?
FANT
You're too late!
He points to the ocean. Xander is out there, paddling to Dagon.
FANT
He feeds the god!
Buffy knocks down Fant and runs to the sea. The Surfers block her. They fight. The Surfers push her back with sheer numbers.
Just when she's about to go under, Oz's mini-bus skids to a stop in front of her, scattering Surfers right and left.
WILLOW
Get in!
Buffy does. The bus accelerates.
INT. MINI-BUS - DAY
Buffy, Willow, Oz, and Giles. Oz drives. Surfers POUND on the outside of the bus.
GILES
Buffy, did you find the Book of Dagon?
BUFFY
Fish Boy has it.
She points through the window. Giles looks.
GILES
Occupy him while I retrieve the book. There should be an exorcism in it to banish Dagon.
BUFFY
Gotcha. Where's Cordelia?
GILES
She's arranging reinforcements.
OZ
Ramming speed.
The bus swings around and accelerates straight at Fant.
EXT. THE BEACH - CONTINUOUS
Fant jumps out of the way. Buffy leaps onto Fant's back, knocking him down, while Giles scoops up the Book of Dagon.
GILES
I have it!
Oz circles the bus back around. Giles and Buffy jump in.
INT. THE BUS - DAY
Willow hugs Buffy. Giles flips through the Book of Dagon.
GILES
"Revelations of Glaaki"…no…"Deaths of the Children of Eihort" – no…
EXT. THE BEACH - DAY
Fant stands up and raises his arms. His eyes GLOW. WATER shoots out of his arms and SLAMS into the bus.
INT. THE BUS - DAY
The bus almost tips over. Then it skids and slows. Buffy looks out the window.
BUFFY
He's a one-man fire department.
EXT. THE BEACH - DAY
FANT
Dagon, stop them!
INT. THE BUS - DAY
Giles is still reading.
GILES
"The Chant of Release"! That's it. Now-
The bus skews to a halt. Oz guns the motor. Nothing.
OZ
Uh-oh.
WILLOW
"Uh-oh"? What "uh-oh"?
Oz looks out the window.
OZ
Quicksand uh-oh.
EXT. THE BEACH - DAY
The bus sinks into the sand, which is GLOWING.
FANT
Get them!
The Surfers run to the bus.
INT. THE BUS - DAY
The Surfers smash windows and doors. Buffy, Willow and Oz try to hold them off while Giles reads the book.
GILES
The chant must be performed while standing in the ocean.
WILLOW
But if he can shoot water out of his arms now, what could he do in the ocean?
GILES
I'll have to chance it.
BUFFY
I can distract him. Just get to the water.
GILES
How?
BUFFY
Show me the exorcism pages.
Giles does. Buffy tears the pages out, hands them to Giles, and grabs the book.
BUFFY
He wants his book, let him come get it.
GILES
Buffy!
BUFFY
It's the book or Xander.
She shoves the book into her knapsack.
BUFFY
(To Willow and Oz)
Give us some running room.
Oz thinks for a moment. Then he whispers to Willow.
WILLOW
NO! I mean, I can't-
Oz gives her the lifted eyebrow. Willow looks miserable.
WILLOW
Okay.
Oz opens a mini-fridge and takes out a bag. Willow lets her hair down, and tucks up her shirt, exposing her midriff.
OZ
On three. One.
Willow and Oz rock the mini-bus in time to the count.
BUFFY
Two. Three!
The mini-bus slams over.
EXT. THE BEACH - DAY
The Surfers scatter. Willow jumps onto the top of the bus, looking kind of sexy, and holds up two SIX-PACKS: A Surfer Venus.
WILLOW
Uh. Hi! Everybody? Uh. Beer? BEER!
They lunge for her. She tosses the beers to the mob as Oz pulls her back inside. SURFER #1 picks up a can.
SURFER #1
"Non-alcoholic"!?
The Surfers pound the van with redoubled fury.
EXT. THE BEACH (FANT) - DAY
Fant watches the beach. He turns as Buffy comes up behind.
BUFFY
Hey, Big Kahuna. Here's your book.
She slams the knapsack into his face.
EXT. THE OCEAN (GILES) - DAY
Giles walks to the edge of the water.
GILES
Xander. Xander! Come here at once!
No response.
GILES
Very well.
He takes off his jacket, shoes, and socks, rolls up his trouser legs, and wades in. He GASPS at the cold.
GILES
Blast. Brighton in February.
He reads from his pages.
GILES
"Sikandar est in Atlanteo tuo. Multivario prestatum est…"
EXT. THE BEACH (FANT) - DAY
Fant smashes Buffy relentlessly with water blasts from his hands. Buffy can't catch her footing or her breath.
FANT
You should have given him his destiny.
BUFFY
Fish food for Dagon? I don't think so.
FANT
What do you know about destiny?
Buffy manages to close with Fant, and grabs his throat.
BUFFY
I know.
An explosion of water forces them apart. Fant raises his arms and Buffy is engulfed by quicksand.
INT. THE MINI-BUS - DAY
Willow and Oz fight back, but the Surfers will break in any moment. It's the Last Stand.
OZ
Wil. I love you.
WILLOW
Me too.
(looking out the window)
Look!
EXT. THE BEACH (MINI-BUS) - DAY
Sunnydale JOCKS run across the beach, outnumbering the Surfers. Larry's in the front. Cordelia's right behind.
LARRY AND THE JOCKS
Xander! Xander! Xander!
The Surfers confront the Jocks. Cordelia pulls open the bus doors.
CORDELIA
Xander? XANDER?
OZ
Close.
EXT. THE BEACH (FANT) - DAY
Fant closes in on Buffy. Buffy whips the Book of Dagon out of her knapsack and holds it over the watery sand.
BUFFY
Into the quicksand! Glub, glub!
This pulls Fant up short.
FANT
Give it to me!
BUFFY
Let me out.
Fant waves a hand. The sand solidifies. Buffy steps out.
FANT
Give me the book.
Instead, Buffy hurls it over the top of the bluffs. Fant SCREAMS and runs after it.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
At the top of the bluffs. Fant cradles the book as Buffy climbs into view. Fant turns to Buffy.
FANT
Dagon will have two sacrifices today.
BUFFY
Did you notice? You're on dry land now.
Fant raises his arms. Nothing happens. Buffy staggers Fant with a flying kick. Before she can do more, he clenches his fist. Buffy collapses, blood spurting from her mouth.
FANT
The human body. Seventy percent water. The salt tides in our blood.
But Buffy isn't finished. She leaps at Fant, knocking him out. She curls the guard-rail around him and climbs down to the beach.
EXT. THE OCEAN (GILES) - DAY
Giles shivers while he completes the ceremony.
GILES
"…b-benedicat me, r-r-rex omnip-potens d-deus. AMEN!"
He looks up expectantly. But the Waterspout is still there. If anything, it's bigger, and the surf is more threatening.
GILES
That can't be right.
He searches through his pages.
GILES
Where's the last page?
He runs down the beach.
EXT. THE BEACH (MINI-BUS) - DAY
The Surfers have been routed. The Jocks are strutting. Oz approaches Cordelia.
OZ
That's…really good timing.
Cordelia studies him for a moment, and then thaws.
CORDELIA
Timing is everything. You learn that as a cheerleader.
Willow watches the ocean from the top of the mini-bus.
WILLOW
How come the Waterspout isn't going? It's supposed to go. But it's not. We should find Giles.
Giles staggers up to them.
OZ
Speak of the Devil.
GILES
What? Where? Oh. Where's Buffy?
Buffy approaches.
GILES
The book. Where's the book?
Giles snatches the book from Buffy.
BUFFY
I'm fine. I defeated the evil high priest. How are you?
Giles leafs frantically through the book.
GILES
You didn't tear off enough pages. The exorcism was incomplete!
BUFFY
Oh.
GILES
There it is…Bloody Hell.
WILLOW
Giles!
He shows the pages to the others. They're an illegible inky mess.
BUFFY
I must have gotten it wet.
GILES
Must have! Must have! Too bloody right!
BUFFY
All right, Giles! So what do we do?
GILES
It's all up to Xander. Dagon can't stay on this plane without him. If he goes through with it…
Willow takes off her shoes and heads for the water.
BUFFY
Wil, you'll freeze! You need a wet suit!
WILLOW
We can't get to him if he can't hear us.
Willow and Cordelia exchange a look. Willow wades into the surf. Cordelia takes off her sweater and shoes.
CORDELIA
Well, what are you all waiting for?
The others follow suit.
EXT. THE OCEAN (XANDER) - DAY
Xander rides the wave of a lifetime. Weird alien MUSIC plays all around him. He's a gone daddy-o.
EXT. THE OCEAN (BUFFY & CO) - DAY
Buffy and the others wade out into the surf. The ocean is stormy, choppy. Dangerous.
CORDELIA
Xander!
WILLOW
Xander!
OZ
I can't see him.
BUFFY
Xander!
EXT. THE OCEAN (XANDER) - DAY
Xander hears the VOICES of his friends, faintly. He ignores them.
EXT. THE OCEAN (BUFFY & CO) - DAY
The Slayerettes keep on trying.
WILLOW
He can't hear. We have to get closer!
OZ
Wil, no!
But Willow is already stroking out to sea.
EXT. THE OCEAN (XANDER) - DAY
Xander surfs ever closer to the Waterspout. From his POV, in the depths of the Waterspout, Atlantis is visible. Illusion? Reality?
EXT. THE OCEAN (WILLOW) - DAY
The wide, wide ocean. Willow swims frantically. Soon, she's in trouble. Unable to go forward, too weak to go back.
WILLOW
Xander! Xander! It's Willow! Xander, please! Please come back!
She starts to fade.
WILLOW
Xander…
EXT. THE OCEAN (XANDER) - DAY
Xander hears.
WILLOW (OC)
Xander, I need you…
Xander snaps out of his trance.
XANDER
Willow.
For the first time, Dagon SPEAKS.
DAGON
COME TO ME. COME TO ME.
The Moment of Truth.
XANDER
No.
With a CRASH, the Waterspout disappears. The wave collapses. Wipe-out, from a hundred feet up.
EXT. THE OCEAN - DAY
A hurricane at sea. Chaos, wind, and water. Buffy fights through it, searching. She finds Willow.
WILLOW
Xander. He's gone. He's gone.
BUFFY
Not yet.
EXT. UNDERWATER - DAY
Xander drifts down, unconscious. But then a swift, sleek form - Buffy - rockets through the water and grabs him.
EXT. THE BEACH - DAY
Buffy drags Xander and Willow onto the beach. Xander's unconscious. Willow and Cordelia come face to face over Xander's body. They lock eyes. Oz gets between them and gives Xander CPR.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
Willow and Oz are visiting. Xander's head is bandaged.
WILLOW
…and so, anyway, we just wanted to see how you were doing. Me and Oz.
XANDER
The two of you.
WILLOW
Yes. Because, we were concerned. Us.
XANDER
Yeah.
Buffy enters.
BUFFY
Hey.
XANDER
Hey.
WILLOW
Oops. Got to go. There's a movie, a documentary on wolves. We're going to that. Bye!
They go. Buffy sits down.
XANDER
I didn't know. You know, about the earthquakes, the mass destruction.
BUFFY
I kinda figured. Cordelia told me to tell you wetsuits make you look fat.
XANDER
She didn't.
BUFFY
Actually, she said "fatter."
XANDER
She's one in a million.
They sit uncomfortably.
BUFFY
Can you still do those water tricks?
XANDER
Only the one where I write my name in the snow.
BUFFY
More than I needed. Well…
Buffy stands.
XANDER
I just wanted. I just wanted to be somebody. Stupid.
BUFFY
You are. Somebody, I mean. You're Xander.
She kisses him and leaves. Xander sits up, and then walks to the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
Xander looks at himself in a mirror.
XANDER
I'm Xander.
FADE OUT.
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