Sunday, September 18, 2016

Pizza Points

  • There is no such thing as healthy pizza. All pizza is loaded with grease, fat, salt, and carbohydrates. To eat pizza that isn't also delicious is a terrible waste.
  • The kind of oven doesn't matter.
  • California Pizza Kitchen isn't the only reason New Yorkers hate Los Angeles; but it is the best reason.
  • If you're going to have a test pizza, it should be a plain cheese slice. If they can't get that right, no amount of toppings will fix things.
  • Salt! There should be a little in the cheese and in the crust.
  • Calzone is paranoid pizza - you can't actually tell what's inside that dough until you bite...and then it's too late.
  • Plastic utensils were invented specifically to prevent meatheads from trying to eat pizza with a knife and fork.
  • Good Brooklyn pizza tends to have a crust that's a little sweeter than Manhattan pizza. Alas, Manhattan pizza tends to be less flavorful.
  • The age of the establishment has little to do with the quality of the pizza. Just ask them at [name redacted].
  • The best slice I've had since I came back to New York cost five bucks; it came with a second slice and a can of soda.
  • A man's measure can be taken from his pizza habits.…/me-lover-s-pizza-with-crazy-br…
  • As of three years ago, La Lanterna had a pretty good Pizza Margherita; also Pino's in Brooklyn (although the crust is too thin there). I know people who swear by John's pizza...but they are still my friends.


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